The sounds of Zimbabwe are so diverse. It is 6 am and I am sitting in the front veranda and listening to the unique sounds of the local birds. One sounds like a song bird I know; the other has a deep throut kind of caw to it, there is one that chirps high pitched like a bird you would have in a cage at a pet store, then there is the one that sounds like the creaking of an old swing set that has not been oiled in years as the swing would move forward and back, forward and back…

These are not the only sounds which I know so well now; there is the sound of silence too, about 6pm at night right at dusk when the power has been out and the generators not yet turned on and there is a single sound- silence…then the generators start and hum through the streets, some louder and stronger than others. During this time, I think sometimes I can actually hear the sound of the cooking fires of those who do not have generators through the smell of the smoke that fills every part of the air outside. If I am not quick enough to close my bedroom window at this time, when I do, I trap the smoke and some little mosquitors in to rest with me for the night.

I know the deep sounds of a dump truck or a lourie (as they call it in British colonized Zimbabwe), when it roars down the street and then hits a series of pot holes, or more appropriately on a main street a section of road where potholes have been un-evenly filled and there are more like un-intentional speed bumps in the middle of the road.

I will miss the sounds of the languages, the deep clicks and the soft slurring sounds that I strived so had to be able to make. I often find myself over a gas stove waiting for water to boil or while doing dishes just practicing the sounds out loud to myself…NonQaba…Zikhuphani…Busi…Xhosa… I click and knock and slosh my tongue to try to make these foreign sounds.

Not only are there sounds that will stick in my head but the smells are special too. The one smell I will not miss is that of burning garbage; the smell of plastic melting filling the air can sometimes be suffocating. There is the smell of petrol or diesel which  sometimes fills all of my senses as well. And this morning there is the smell of ‘spring in the air’. We had our first rainfall of the season last night and I can still smell the freshness of concrete when it gets wet while it is still hot(a smell of childhood actually) and now the beautiful glowing violet Jacaranda trees are in bloom, as well as all the other local flowers and with the fresh rain it is like being in a flower shop!

So in just 2 more sleeps I leave Zimbabwe…

 Will it be for good? I am not sure and truth be told no one knows. In this past 2 weeks I celebrated 2 years since arriving in Africa, as well as 3 years since becoming a Christian. When I look back on what has happened in the past 3 years I am actually blown away at who I have become, at where I am going, and at the hope for a future filled with love, integrity, trust, total surrender, dependence on God, and of course GRACE!

I remember about 6 months after becoming a Christian I had a conversation with a non-believer. He was not a Christian and challenged me by saying, “All you Christians are so weak, you surrender that you cannot do life on your own and that you need help…why would I want a part of that?” Well he is right; Christianity, amongst many of its faults- in that it is made up of normal sinful, full of flaws people; is all about surrender…sweet surrender…We cannot do life on our own and many people will turn to a husband or an addition like exercise or alcohol in an attempt to hold onto control. What I am realizing more and more is that to get control you have to give it up! For me this means giving it to God who is there to love me and catch me when I fall, build me up when I am down, teach and discipline me when I am wrong, but most of all to accept me. In this, I am finding an abundance of acceptance for who I am that I could not have grasped in all my years of searching for it.

November  2nd I will turn 32years old. How sweet the growing older is getting…